When I Fly Solo I Fly So High - Kerri's 2009 Mix

Just a quick disclaimer - as you'll notice, most of these songs aren't even from 2009.  But my mixes aren't about the "best" songs of the year, they're about those songs that defined my year.  Maybe I heard them for the first time in 2009, maybe I saw the band live for the first time, maybe the song was first released - it could be any number of things.  Either way, here's my 2009 mix.

1. Time To Pretend - MGMT.  I don't remember if it was late 2008 or early 2009, and I forget what movie or TV show I was watching that I first heard this song on, but it was one of those songs that instantly made me run to a computer so I could look it up and download it immediately.  Something about this song just instantly cheers me up.
2. Use Somebody - Kings of Leon.  Can't go anywhere without hearing this song these days, but the first time I heard it was January or February or so, on Music Choice and I loved it.  I've always *wanted* to like Kings of Leon more than I actually did, but they got it spot on with this one.
3. May: The Summer of Boats - Local H.   I have nearly 12,000 songs on my iPod, and more often than not, when I have it on random (as I almost always do), I don't recognize the songs that come on.  I usually skip them 'til I find one I know, or one that sounds interesting.  But every so often, one comes on that I don't recognize, but that stops me in my tracks.  This was one of those songs - from the first line, I was absolutely hooked.  The 'chorus' had me nearly in tears, even before I could relate to it.  "Life was perfectly sad, it's perfectly sadder now."  
4. Tomorrow's Just Too Late - Kevin Devine.  I knew this song long before it was formally released on Kevin Devine's "Brother's Blood", and I was even fortunate enough to hear it live, as it should be, with Jesse Lacey on background vocals, again long before the CD was released.  But I never truly appreciated it until one May afternoon when it came up on the ipod and I heard the line "you've got a choice to make, shut him out, save himself, or sit and wait" and then I repeated the song and listened where that line left off, and I repeated it again, and again, until I'd made a decision.  It was the wrong one, of course, but I thank Kevin Devine nonetheless for getting me to that point.
   
5. Poker Face - Lady Gaga.  What's not to love about Lady Gaga??  It was tough to choose between this one and "Paparazzi" for the 2009 mix, but ultimately "Poker Face" won out for being the song that made me a Lady Gaga convert.  Fun, catchy and all around awesome.
   
6. Degrassi: The Next Generation Theme Song - When Briton and I randomly caught an episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation by chance over the summer we were studying for the bar exam, I never thought I'd end up hooked.  But with the realization that I had "The N" (which later became "Teen Nick"), and with their "every episode ever" marathon, how could I not?  The show provided an awesome escape from reality, and the theme song, cheesy as it is, is still kinda inspirational - "whatever it takes, I know I can make it through."
   
7. The Artist in the Ambulance - Thrice.  Here's another oldie that long pre-dates 2009, but I never developed the Thrice appreciation that I have now until this year, and this song is hands down my favorite.  It's occurred to me this year (maybe for obvious reasons) that I should make a morbid "Car Crash mix" - this one would be the most positive addition to the list. 
   
8. Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event.  If I did make a "Best Songs of 2009" mix/list, this song would hands down be #1 on the list.  I first heard of this song through a Starbucks free download.  A few weeks later, I was going through my old Entertainment Weekly magazines and throwing out the ones I didn't want to save, and went on a kick of downloading all their recommended rock/indie/alternative songs.  This was one of them.  I recognized the name of the song from the Starbucks download - I played it - my life was changed.  I don't know if it's enough to simply say that this was the best song of 2009.  This song has made me revisit my "favorite songs ever" list. It is rare to find a song that moves me the way this one did, the way it still does EVERY TIME I HEAR IT.  It's been more than six months since I discovered this track - I think I got the Starbucks download card in April, actually - but I still get moved to tears every time I hear it, sometimes uncontrollably.  The desperation in Mikel Jollett's voice and the lyrics as the song progresses gets me every time.  If you can't relate to this song (or if you couldn't relate to this song at some point in your life), you haven't lived.  Incredible song.
   
9. 1901 - Phoenix.  Right before I left for London, I was driving my dad's car while my Cabrio had some repairs taken care of, and Sirius's Alt Nation started playing this song fairly regularly.  By the time I got back, I was hearing everywhere about this great new "French band" and this song was showing up in car commercials and everywhere and I just loved it - Alt Nation's Top 18 countdown for the year described this song as "retardedly catchy", and I can't think of a better description.  I finally picked up a copy of their CD last week - haven't listened yet, but I have high hopes.
   
10. We Are Golden - Mika.  To say I "loved" Mika's "Grace Kelly" when I first heard it is an understatement, as is saying that I loved his "Life in Cartoon Motion" cd.  The second I saw in Entertainment Weekly that he had a new cd coming out and a new single, I had to run and download it, and this one was no disappointment.  I feel like a little kid when I listen to Mika - the excitement and the childlike quality to his songs can make any bad day better, any sadness fade.  Now someone just needs to make a Sylar video with this song ;)
    
11. Life Is A Show - Cassie Steele.  There was a lot of good music this year, so it's kind of embarrassing to have *two* Degrassi songs on my mix.  But truth be told, from the minute I first started seeing Degrassi Goes Hollywood commercials with this song in the background, I knew I'd love it - I looked forward to that movie all summer, and my eyes teared up a little for Manny when she sang this song from the bus and Jason Mewes yelled down to her "Manny, you ARE the part."  It's one of those uplifting, "I'm not going to let life get me down" songs that makes me smile every time I hear it.  I love Degrassi!
    
12. I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas.  The irony is that the first time I heard this song, I was driving with Becky to grab the train from Westbury for our birthday party in the city . . . the night was anything but a good night, and every time I heard this song I can't help but think about the *bad* night that I had when I first heard it.  But it makes me think of Becky, a bright spot in a bad year, and it makes me smile.
13. At The Bottom - Brand New.  The first single from Brand New's long-awaited fourth album, Daisy, this was the first song I'd heard (other than "Bought a Bride", which I'd heard live a few months earlier when it was still being referred to as "Trees" or "Brickhouse") from the album, and I was drawn to it right away.  It's not my favorite song on the album, but it's classically awesome Brand New and I love the lyrics. 
    
14. White Horse - Taylor Swift.  I laughed when I was explaining this mix to my friend the other day and told her that so many of the songs were upbeat and cheerful until I hit around track 14, ha.  I guess that's not entirely true, but "White Horse" coincides with the downward spiral I hit towards the end of the year.  I read an interview with Taylor Swift where she said that she finds the songs that most people relate to the most are the ones she wrote while she was going through something terrible.  I'm sorry that anyone ever has to feel that way, but I'm glad that Taylor Swift felt that way long enough to write this song.  "I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale, I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well . . ."  If I could sing, this would definitely be a karaoke song.
    
15. Quote - Evans Blue.  Another old song, but a new discovery to me in 2009.  It's not my favorite on the CD, but the lyrics hit home during my downward spiral at the end of the year.
    
16. Come Downstairs And Say Hello - Guster.  This one's another oldie - it's been years since "Keep It Together" was released.  But it wasn't until the Lost and Gone Forever show, when they closed out the show with this one (well, before the "Jesus on the Radio" acoustic performance), that I really listened to it.  "Tomorrow I start in a new direction . . ."  It's a good one.
    
17. Don't Stop Believin' - Glee Cast.  I still haven't seen the pilot episode of Glee . . . but having seen every other episode of the show and bought both soundtracks, I think it's one of the best shows out there.  Although I didn't see the episode where this one was performed, it's one of my favorite songs and this is an awesome version of it.
    
18. I Can Barely Breathe - Manchester Orchestra.  When I saw Manchester Orchestra open up for Brand New at the biggest concert of my year, I recognized this song right away as one of their few that I had downloaded.  But the lyrics didn't get to me until that night - "if you knew I was dying, would it change you?  If you knew I was dying, would it change anything?"  And of course, my title lyric - "when I fly solo, I fly so high." 
    
19. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars.  The first time I really recognized hearing this song was during the season finale of the fifth season of Degrassi: The The Next Generation.  It was playing during the graduation scene, at the end of the episode, and I looked up the lyrics that I heard and realized that I actually already owned this song - on one of the soundtracks to The OC.  I adored the song instantly, and it was on my 2009 mix long before its chronological placement as #19.  The song is so sad to me - I think that the line "all of the time you thought I was sad, I was trying to remember your name" might be the saddest lyric ever.  But anyway. Like I said, I knew this song would be on my 2009 mix, but it wasn't until I went to burn the first copy, when I realized that something wasn't right with the mix and that something seemed like it was missing, that I realized that I had to place this song last.  It makes me cry and it makes me terribly sad, but there's no better way to conclude 2009 than by realizing: "There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave. You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave. I'm not sorry I met you.  I'm not sorry it's over.  I'm not sorry there's nothing to save.  I'm not sorry there's nothing to save."  This song is one of the things that got me through the last few months of 2009.  Thank you for that, Stars.